Link likes Comedy
by GlowsChronicle
Summary: THE ULTIAMTE SCOOP OF LAUGHTER UNTILL I FOUND OUT WHAT TO DO NEXT. And coming soon, is the Other Funny Zelda Stories directory, where I tell you how to find the best Zelda funny stories. Stay cool, enjoy.
1. Fun things to do at walmart

FUN THINGS TO DO AT WALMART

**Hello, link speaking. Did you ever get board with your friends and want to tell jokes, well I've got a few laughs with this section. For now in this chapter, fun things to do at WalMart.**

1set all the alarm clocks to go off at tem minute intervals throughout the day

2Challenge other customers to duels with tubes off gift-wrap

3Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit

5walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got Code 3 in House wares." See what happens

6While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself, (loud enough for all to hear) "Who buys this crap anyway?"

7Rie a display bicycle through the store; claim you taking it for a test run.

8As the cashier funs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "WOW, magic."

9Put M&Ms on layaway

10Move "Caution; wet floor" signs to areas with carpet flooring.

11Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other isles.

12Drape a blanket over your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm batman; come Robin, to the bat-cave."

13Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

14Play with the calculators so that they all say hello upside down. And leave them upside down.

15when two or more people are walking together in front of you, run in-between them and say, "red Rover."

16Take up an entire aisle in Toy by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joe Vs. the X-Men.

17Hold indoor shopping cart races.

18Dart around very suspiciously while whistling the theme to Mission Impossible. You may hum too.

19Attempt to fit into very, very large gym bags. Note: Don't do this for too long, and don't do this while whistling the theme to Mission Impossible.

20Set up a 'Valet Parking' sign in front of the stores parking lot, or just in front of the store.

21when someone doest an announcement over the intercom, or loudspeaker, go into fetal position and scream, "NO, NO! Please not the voice again."

22Ssay things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me toward your Twinkies?" to employees, or non-employees who are wearing blue.

23Set up a tent in the camping section. Tell others that you will only invite them in if they bring pillows, aisle 14.

24Whem someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

25Look right into the security camera. Then begin to use it as a mirror to check your teeth. Then get out some floss and start flossing.

26Hide in clothing racks, and when people browse through, say things like, "Pick me, pick me!"

27If the store has a food court, order a soft drink. Then, when you get your drink, say, "You know, I don't really get out much, could I get an umbrella with this?"

28Go into the dressing room and yell, as loud as you want, "Oh my god, we are out of toilet paper in here.

29Announce over the intercom that there is a 'Blue-Light Special' is going on in 'aisle forty-two' or whatever isle you want, 'and only for the next tem minutes.'

30Pretend to fall asleep while playing a display video game in the electronic section.

31Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding that at strategic locations.

32When people are walking behind you, walk really slow. Do this especially in narrow aisles.

33Ask other customers if they have a grey poupon.

34TP as much as the store as possible. I don't recommend this, but hey, it's their.

35Make up nonsense product names and ask a newly hired employee if they have one. IE "Do you have any Plopocranites?"

36Take bets on the battle described in number 16.

37Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

38Leave little funny things in the hands of mannequins.

39Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in cosmetics.

40Hide in the clothing racks and say things like "The fat man walks alone." See what happens.

41Hit on the elderly—42Hit on 5 year olds.

43Excessively use anything that says try me.

44Start pocketing any and all free samples.

45Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

46Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends have one too.

47Use a broom and gallop around while doing the best impression of a hoarse you can.

48Play a game of football; see how many people you can get to join in.

49See how much time you can waste from another customer.

50Take this list to Wal Mart and taped to a sign you know other customers will see. leave the title unknown.

51Take your math homework their and ask employees for help. If one actually helps you, act as dumb as you want, or like you have special needs.

52Grab some of the womens' undies and leave them in the men's underpants.

53Attempt to fit OTHER PEOPLE into very large gym bags.

54Two words, "Marco Polo."

55Put cheerios in the meet section, especially if the meat is stored in a freezer.

56Go into the twelve item or less line with thirteen items, one of them being the M&Ms your going to put on lay away.

57When you can't find the section for something, take it from someone else's kart saying, "I got it. Now I can put it on lay away."

58Move all the "Lane Closed" sign to one closed lane.

59Relax on the furniture if it has a furniture section.

60Try number fifty, only, take two lists and read one while attempting number 59 or 40.

61Stay in the same section for as long as you can, annoying as many people as possible.

62 While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you  and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is  breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you  do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was  another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME  darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto  the ground screaming and having convulsions.

63Try number 62 in the dressing room before attempting number 28.

64. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every  perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another  girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.  "hi! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy  shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.  "hi! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

65 In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly  move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left  as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the  ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like  crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes! I got it! Wow, that was  the biggest Cockroach I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!  Hey look, there's another one!" Then Repeat.

66 Repeat 65 with a can of bug spray.

67 Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.  Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs. Purrrrrrr.'

68 Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.  82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say  "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter  Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of  French fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say  "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you  say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from  Caldor's, but not WalMart. People who are gay are just like  everyone else your know. You disgust me" Then walk away  mumbling to yourself.

69Dance like no body is looking.

70 Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,  your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

71 Play with the automatic doors

72 Play with the calculators so that they all spell "Boo"  upside down.

73 When a stranger is talking to you for help, answer all of their comments, questions, or concerns with a question. IE. Hey, do you know where the electronics are? Then you say something like, what's you source.

74 Take your Friends to WalMart and give them the list. Then say Good Luck and leave them to their shopping.

75 Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while  squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I  need some tampons!

76 Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department

77 Try on bras over top of your clothes

78 Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags

79 Re-alphabetize the CD's in Electronics

80 Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the  restrooms, unless you already see one. Who cares, make it bigger.

81 When someone steps away from their cart to look at  something, quickly make off with one of their items without saying a word

82 When someone steps away from their cart to look at  something, quickly make off with one of their items and use it to hide this list somewhere in the store.

83 When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,  assume the fetal position and scream, "I'm here god I'm Here."

84 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with  various funnels

85 Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people  out. Then go into a working isle and attempt to hit on the person you were checking out.

86 Get boxes of Condoms, or anything else nobody needs, and randomly put them in peoples  carts when they don't realize it!

87 Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a rabbit. Then look for a hat and tell people you're trying to pull your brother out of it.

88 Ride around on those electric cars standing up and yell, "I'm King of the World."

89 Play football or something with your friends, and act like you don't know them. 90, Play football or something with your friends, and tell your friends to act like they don't know you"

91 Do all of this with your friends.

92 Order Star Bucks at the check-out isle.

93 Go to Wal Mart is a costume.

94 Put ladies underwear in men's carts. Then accidentally bump his kart.

95 After buying ladies underwear, put it on the roof of a complete stranger's car. Stick around to see what happens. Make sure it was quite a huge stack spread out atop the car. I made this up.

96 Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,  start saying blink every time it blinks. Don't look away, just  stay mesmerized

97 Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I  warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get  my club". Then walk away. Sneak up on them later and say, hey I was just kidding. You don't want to get in trouble now do you!

98 Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

99 Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen  my mommy

BONUS 100TH TRY AS MANY AS THESE AS YOU CAN IN ONE VISIT.

BONUS NUMBER 101, TRY TWO OR MORE OF THESE AT THE SAME TIME.


	2. Ch 2, Gannon is so

Gannon is so fat, He doesn't have a shadow, he has an eclipse.

Gannon is so fat, when he wants someone to shake his hand; he has to give them directions.

Gannon is so stupid, he took chapter one to Wal Mart and spoke too loudly while reading it aloud. He wound up with the 2003 dur durdur award. Navi came in second.

Gannon is so fat; he overflowed the position quarterback on his high-school football team.

Gannon is so ugly, his reflection gave him the finger.

Gannon is so fat. Last measured, he was four and a half feat tall; lying down. Or was it Five and 1/2? Who can remember the year 1999 anyway.

Gannon is so fat, it took three years to deliver his hair spray; and that was after they got to his house.

Gannon is so stupid he tried to sell shade.

Gannon is so stupid, he heard the intercom at WalMart and started to cry because he thought he was hearing voices.

Gannon is so fat, he went to the beach and everybody started shouting over and over again, "Beached whale, somebody call for help."

Gannon is so stupid, he smiled after farting.

Gannon is so stupid; he got locked in a grocery store overnight and starved.

Gannon is so fat the Majora's mask moon started to hit on him. Godzilla did the same. Followed by King Kong.

Gannon is so stupid; he got locked in a mattress store overnight and slept on the floor.

Gannon is so stupid, he looked out the window and saw a bird go by and then started yelling, "A plane, a plane!"

Gannon is so fat, he got baptized at SeaWorld.

Gannon is so fat, he went to the beach, and the whales jumped out and sang, "We are family; even though you're bigger than me."

Gannon is so stupid; he encountered a lion and went, "Awe, that's so cute."

Gannon is so fat; his belt size is equator.

Gannon is so stupid; his IQ is 34. We had a shovel take the same quiz, and it scored a 41.

Gannon is so stupid; he tried eating out of his satellite dish when he is out of clean dishes.

Gannon is so ugly; link almost mistook him for ET.

Gannon is so fat; he could fart a new O-zone layer.

Gannon is so fat; he got stuck between dimensions. I didn't think it was possible.

Gannon is so fat; he jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Gannon is so stupid; he got hit by a parked hoarse.

Gannon Is so fat, he didn't just grow up, He grew out.

Gannon is so stupid; he brought a spoon to the super bowl

Gannon is so fat; he layed down, then stood up, and his height DID NOT CHANGE.

Gannon is so fat; Link gave him a weight watchers handbook for Christmas.

Gannon is so stupid, when he first saw link from behind while link was wearing a tunic, Gannon started to hit on him, thinking link was a girl.

Gannon is so stupid, I hope those 10,000 years of being stuck between realms included free therapy.

Gannon is so dumb, he didn't wear anything under his graduation robe.


	3. Ch 3, Links wedding! so funny

**Link again, I know. But this is this is the story of when I got married. My wife Zelda just asked me to take the story to MegaSonic'sChronicle. He was very kind as to accept posting this story on the Internet for me. Read and laugh.**

The legend of Zelda.

The happy wedding.

Link and Zelda are at the Deku food palace, eating and talking. After a while, Link kneeled on the floor and took out a black box from his pocket. "Zelda, will you marry me."

"I don't know what to say. But I guess I will just say…yes. I would love to marry you."

"BUT WHY, WHY WOULDN'T YOU MARRY ME, wait, did you say yes?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Yes, I said yes!."

"Thank you Zelda. And I promise, I will not disappoint you.

JUST A FEW MOTHS LATER, ACTUALLY, THREE MONTHS, SIX DAYS EIGHTEEN HOURS AND TWENTY-THREE MINUTES LATER.

"Dearly beloved, we gather hear today to join in Link and Zelda in holy matrimony. If there is anybody here who do not believe that these two be joined together in marriage, please speak now, or forever hold your peace."

"AAHHHH, Link, you shall not get married to this woman!"

"Link got his bow and said, "Shut up Gannondorf, and you are not my father. Then Link put a light arrow right through Gannondorf.

Then the Deku Tree spoke up again. "Now that that's over, um, Do you Link take thee Zelda to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, for rich or for-"

"I DO ALREADY!... Oh sorry. I do."

"OK" Deku tree laughed a little bit. "Anyway, Do thee Zelda take thee, umm, you know."

"I do"

"Well, then it's time thee lover-bids share their hyrulian Vows."

"Zelda, When I first saw you, you took my eye. Even though you talked on about saving the planet of Hyrule, you just took my eye. I couldn't take my eyes off you. Maybe we are lucky that we are alive to witness this. And I just can't wait for the bachelor party. Anyway, I think I have said enough time for you to talk, and maybe for me to snore." Zelda stared with an open jaw. "Just kidding.

"Link, Even though you were not listening when you first saw me, and you couldn't take your eye off me, I'm lucky I said the right stuff when I was speaking." Link looked confused. "Now, I am pleased to announce that I want this marriage to last a very long time. So please don't ruin it. I promise not make it to painful to you. I love you a whole lot."

"And now I pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Link and Zelda were kissing like crazy. Pretty soon, every body but they were gone. The Deku tree was right beside them, sleeping. Link and Zelda were still mouth-to-mouth. Pretty soon, they were in a room. And that night, they slept well, together on the same bed. The next day, Link gained the crown in front of the Deku tree, bringing peace to the land.

The Deku Tree announced, "I give you, the new king of Hyrule. May he and his queen have some very good times."

Link stood up and turned around to the crowd. Then Zelda came up and kissed him in her new dress. It was a black dress with no sleeves stopping half way between the waist and her knees. Link was wearing his traditional outfit, but black, and with no hat. Imagine that. That night, and every other night on, they slept in the palace, waiting for danger to come so they can fight back together. Man Link, You Are One Lucky Guy. I wish I could have your life.


	4. Ch 4, Link's story of Crime

**Hello, It's me again link. I want to tell you a story about a time I was convicted and accused. It was as told by me, and as written by MegaSonic'sChronicle. Thanks you for reading, and stay beautiful.**

Hyrulian fugitives.

WWOOOOOOOOWWW WOOOOOOOOWW, this was an alarm sounding off.   
A security guard findind a dark figure. It looked like a deku scrub and Link. "Hey stop. You may not leave. He chased them and chased them, but was then tripped and paralyzed. He was frozen in ice with an arrow through him. Then the thieves went through a door leading to a staircase.

"Ok scrub, here is what we will do, this staircase leads to the tower top. We have to get the prized possession up there. You will make a distraction and then jump off, then I will snatch the prize right under their noses."

"Ok DL, but what should I do to distract them?"

"I don't know, use your imagination. Figure out yourself what you are going to do. Sneeze for all I care, just do something to get their minds off their job. Make them run after you. It is then that you jump off." Scrubs went up and then back down. He was still thinking.

"I know, watch this," he said. He went upl to the guard and said, "Hey look what I can do with my second floor up." The guy so called CL slapped his face, his had was apon his own eye. He could not bare a lot. Then he felt something wet. He opened his eyes to find a stream of pee going down the stairs. He moved to the side, and listen to it.

"You disgusting little rascal, I'm gonna get you one way for another." Scrub ran around and used his flower popelers to hover, while the gaurds fell to the ground while trying to retrieve the idiot.

"Good word Scrub." Now let's take the A-1 stake sauce.

"Was it really necessary to go through all that, because we could have just went to WalMart. Awe well." The two ran off.

We come to a TV, the news in on, "Attention, I am your anchor, Lars Lars Pantson Fars. Today, we have the most ergent news. Someone has stolen the A-1 stake sauce from the Microsoft company witch they were going to use to bribe Sony to hand over their company. We did not receive any clues to the theifs Identety other than a headband; a birth certificate; and a wallet; and a picture ofha house in full detail. The police are stumped as to who had done this."

We zoom out away from the TV and find Link and a deku scrub sitting in their chars. Link used the remote to turn off the TV andn said, "Man, who would do that. That is just stupid."

"May I read that book beside You? It looks interesting." He picked it up and started reading it. "The Dictioary, wow this should be good." Link slapped his had over his eyes in greive. "Page one, A, meaning one." This book is weak. The Ecyclopedia was better than this. I mean come on."

The doorbell rang and link got up to answer it. He took a look outside and shut the door instantly. "Wow, hey Scrubdub, I think some of your friends are here." The Deku ran for the door and went out wide into the open. His eyes were wide, Wider than almost anything smaller than a golfball.

"Yay, I love slumber Parties. The police were right outside his door. A loud bang was heard, and then, the door was off the hinges, and the Deku was on the back wall. "Let's go to the cellar and find away out here." So they did, and started disgusing.

"OK, I was thinking we take the pinto."

"Put in new transition often. We are not taking the pinto. I will call my wife Zelda and ask her to get us out of here." Link did so, and Zelda transported them right behind the crowd of police. They ran, and ran. "Wait, what the heck is going on? Why are we running, why were police outside our house, and where the heck are we going?"

"Well, there really is only one place to go at a time like this. We must go to Holdrum, the land of Nyru's lost voice. Where she sing every day.:

"She left that place, and that was Labryna, not Holdrum."

The police arrived and surrounded them, "Put your hands where we can see them. Then, you may feel free to tell us where the stake sauce is."

"Hello, that is rude." Deku was smiling like crazy at the police. "You should not interrupt when people are talking."

"Shut up Scrubling. Look, we did not take the stake sauce. Gannondorf must have morphed into my form and done the crime looking like I did it."Just then, A dark Link went right past them and greeted them. "Or, It might just be him."

"So now that they got the real fugitive, Wanna go to Haldrum still?"

"Just you shut your mouth."


	5. Jumping rope

**Link here. I'm with MegaSonic'sChronicle. We have composed a bunch of funny stuff to yell out at random times while jumping rope. **_We really enjoyed putting these together as it was not really easy. But not only that, for when you have to choose who is "it" and you do the putting your feet in, we have a whole section of that._

Now for the Jumping rope part of the show.

Drew Carey is cooking meet, how many pieces will he eat, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…

Oscar Proud, Oscar Proud, say it fast say it loud. Say he's fat, say he's wimpy, and call him anything but skinny.

I'm gonna go eat worms. I'm gonna go eat worms. Big ones, little ones, ishy gishy squishy ones. I'm gonna go eat worms. I'm probably gonna die, I feel bad as pizza pie, jumping rope that squirms and squirms.

Snap, crackle pop? When are they gonna stop? They say it over and over and over and over, stop all the madness or kill me Red rover. HOOPLA HOOPLA HOOPLA HOOPLA HOOPLA…

**This is in honor of my friend Draco.**

Draco, Draco, you're so strong, and Lionost use your pecks like bongos, bongos, oh mango, oh mango Draco Draco. I like the hot wings, especially with your sauce, spices are so very great but give me your sauce on a plate, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla, chitilitla…

We're all in this together, once we now that we are, we're all stars, and we see that, we're all in this together, and it shows, when we stand hand in hand, make our dreams come trueeuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeee.

_This is my favorite._) Gannon's a fart nugget, Run from him real fast. Once he's out of sight, keep running, keep running, keep running, keep running…

Now this is for the foot thing. It was a personal favorite of my friend draco41111.

Drew Carey is cooking meet, how many pieces will he eat. How many, (when they give an answer, count to that while continuing to touch everybody's feet.)

I'm gonna go eat worms. I'm gonna go eat worms. Big ones, little ones, ishy gishy squishy ones. I'm gonna go eat worms. I'm probably gonna die, I feel bad as pizza pie, jumping rope that squirms and squirms.

Einey Menie, Miney May, catch a rich man by the bay, if he hollers make him pay, $50 everyday.

_**Well, that's all we could think of. Keep reading, and I will keep updating my story.**_


	6. Phycotherapist

**Link here. Now we are talking. This is a story about when I was taking therapy. It did not actually happen, but I wish it did.**

Now link, Tell me when this prodigy all begin.

It all began when this man was with my mom while she was on the couch. Then he started yelling at her, "Push, Push!" It was annoying. Then that man started spanking me for no reason. What was he expecting me to do, stop crying?

So, you are saying that this all began when you were born. Is that correct?

Not really. I just always wanted to say that on the Internet. When it really began is when my mom left me in the Kokiri Forest. I thought I was a Kokiri instead of a Hylian for seven years. After those seven years is when it really began.

So, what happened when you were seven?

If I could I would hire a full team of private investigators to-

SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN.

I was summoned to the great Deku tree. He wanted me to break the curse upon him. Then after I did, he told me to leave the forest and break some more curses so I can save Hyrule. I don't even like Hyrule. I liked Holdrum better, along with Labryna. My mom always told me I should have been a blacksmith.

But you never knew your mom.

I know, that's why I wish "my mom always told me I should have been a blacksmith." And worst of all, Gannondorf thinks I'm his son now.

Why?

I don't know. Use your imagination.

Why?

Because I told you to.

Why?

That's it I'm leaving. Narrator: And so Link walked out and slammed the door shut.

What, No tip?


	7. The story that never was

The End

**Not the end of the updates, OK? OK!**


	8. Majora's Gamble

**Hi it's me. I like my friend Kafei who is pretty funny, and is one great poker player. Read for yourself.**

Kafei: I'm playing five rupees.

Link: I'm going to see your five rupees, and I'm going to raise you the swamp title deed from Majora's mask.

Kafei: I'll see you swamp title deed, and raise you the fairy ocarina. Top that grasshopper.

Link: Hey, only Romani can say that. No more mister nice guy…

Navi: Nice?

Link: Shut up Navi. I'm raising you the Triforce of Wisdom after I see you fairy ocarina.

Kafei: I'm going to see you Triforce of Wisdom and raise you my fanciest watch, and my cell phone.

Link: Hey that's a razor where did you get that?

Kafei: Deku Verizon just on the other side of the Kokiri forest.

Link: Thanks. I'll see you cell phone and your fanciest watch, and raise you my Wife.

Kafei: I may loose Anju...

Navi: May?

Kafei: Shut up Navi, I may loose Anju, but I'll see your wife, and I'll raise you the master sword.

Link: I will see the Master sword, and I'm raising The Deku Tree.

Kafei: I'm gonna see your deku tree, and raise you the holdrum maku tree.

Link: I'll see the maku tree, and I'll raise you Majora's Mask.

Navi: Where did you get that. I thought that belonged to the happy mask salesman.

Link. Shut up Navi.

Kafei: I'll see your Majora's Mask, and I'll raise you my Cow.

Link: I'll see your cow, and I'll raise you some Cheateau Milk.

Kafei: I'm out.

Navi: dum, dum, dum, DUM. Link wins, fatality, perfect battle, flawless victory, two for one wives, shake it off

Link and Kafei: SHUT UP NAVI!.


	9. Bytbyt story 1 : Link VS Dark Link

**MegaSonic'sChronicle speaking here. This chapter is a story written by "bytbyt". It is based on a scene from Monty Python. It is the black night scene. It's really funny.**

_Link here. MegaChronic is right. I read this, and it is not really what happened between me and dark link, but it is so hilarious._

Link Vs Dark Link The Silly Version

Link sees Dark Link jump at him and draws the master sword, after a bit of sword fighting Link cuts off his left arm

"Now stand aside"

"Tis but a scratch"

"A scratch? Your arms off!"

"No it isn't"

"That what's that!"?

Points to Dark Link's cut off left arm

"I had worse"

"You lie!"

"Come on then you pansy"

After a bit more of sword fighting Link cuts off Dark Link's right arm

"Victory is mine"

Link gets down on one leg

"We thank thee lord for in thay blessing…"

Dark Link stars kicking Link

"Come on then"

"What!"

"Have at you!"

"You are indeed brave sir knight but the fight is mine"

"Oh had enough eh?"

"LOOK YOU STUPID BASTED YOU'VE GOT NO ARMS LEFT!"

"Yes I have"

"LOOK!"

Dark Link looks at his two stubs

"Just a flesh wound"

Dark Link kicks him again

"Look stop that!"

"Chicken, Chicken"

"Look I'll have your leg…. Right"

Link cuts off Dark Link's right leg

"Right I'll do you for that!'

"You'll what?"

"Come here!"

"What are you going to do bleed on me?"

"IM INVINCIBLE!"

"You're a loony"

"THE DARK LINK ALWAYS WINS HAVE AT YOU, come on then"

Link cuts off Dark Link's left leg

"…. Alright will call it a draw"

Link puts away the master sword

"Come Navi"

He head off for the room where the long shot is

"Oh running away are ya You YELLOW BASTED COME BACK HERE. I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!"

**Remember. I did not write this. Bytbyt did. He is pretty funny.**


	10. Link VS Gannon

Link VS Gannon. This is a silly little version of what happened.

"I'll put it five rupees," Gannondorf said. "There is no way you will beat this hand."

"You really think I'll fold? Dude, I'm all in. My hand is just plain awesome." Link had the biggest smirk ever.

"I'm throwing in my castle and my triforce. How do you like that?" Gannon seamed confident."

"Hello! Hello!" Just then, a small blue dog, with large black eyes, and a big black nose walked by.

Gannon then said, "I think that guy is lost."

"Nah, He is just having trouble finding his place. Apparently after the movie Lilo and Stitch, he started searching for a new job. I'm throwing in Zelda and the other two Triforces along with some coconut cake."

"Darn that's good. I'm folding, take everything. Two kings and three queens was all I had."

"Looser, I had high card five."

"Why you little."

"Remember our promise. Now you have to go inside the seal and not come out for many, many years. Oh and by the way, what's it like to be green?"

Navi started talking, "Link wins, fatality, bluff master, flawless liar, big fat meanie."

Gannon Yelled, "OH WHO EVER LIKED YOU NAVI. YOU CAN'T EVEN PLAY A NINTENDO GAMECUBE."

"Says you."

Then Gannon and link said, "Whatever."


	11. Bytbyt story 2 :being seen

**Hello, Mega here. Bytbyt wrote this. He does not own Zelda or Monty Python, he just felt like doing this spoof. Funny.**

Narrator: In this picture there are 47 people none of them can be seen, in this film we hope to show you how not to be seen

Narrator: This is Mr.Volvagia of Fire Temple Death Mountain He cannot be seen, now I'm going to ask him to stand up Mr.Volvagia would you stand up please.

Volvagia emerges from his fire pit and his shoot in the head with an arrow

Narrator: This demonstrates the value of not being seen

Narrator: In this picture of lake Hylia we cannot see Ruto of Zora's Domain. Ruto of Zora's Domain would you stand up please

Ruto stands up from hiding behind the scarecrow at lake Hylia and is shot in the head with an arrow

Narrator: This is Mr.Mildo of Kokiri Forest Mr.Mildo would you stand up please………Mr.Mildo has learned the first rule of not being seen, not to stand up however he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover

The gossip stone he's hiding behind blows up

Narrator: Mr.Kafei of Clock Town Termania has presented us with a poser we cannot tell which gossip stone he is behind, however we will soon find out

The gossip stone on the left explodes, then the right, and then, when the middle blow up, we here Kafei yell…

Kafei: …Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Narrator: Yes it was the middle one

Narrator: Mr. Link and Mrs. Zelda chose a very cunning way of not being seen. When we called at their house we found they had gone on 2 weeks holiday, however a neighbor told us where they were

Hyrule castle blows up

Narrator: And he is the neighbor who told us where they were

Shows an image of Ganon blowing up

Narrator: And here is where he lived

Ganon's Tower blows up

Narrator: And here is where he was born

Gerudo Valley blows up in such a massive explosion it takes a few seconds for everything to fall.

The Narrator who is revealed to be Navi starts to laugh. In half and instant he puts on a strait face.

Navi: And now for something completely different

Navi blows up

THE END!

Written by BytByt, reposted and edited for better understanding by -MegaSonic'sChronicle-


	12. COMING SOON TO FANFICTION

Coming soon to fanfiction.

When all hope is lost is the Star Wars galaxy, who can you depend on to pass down the tradition of the Jedi. The last Jedi of the galaxy tried to revive the art as he throws out his light saber into space hoping someone will use it well.

Now, who can we depend on not to kill himself while using the light saber for the first time. "I sense a disturbance in the force!"

"Is it Gannon again?" Mr. Link and Mrs. Zelda haven taken on the tradition of the Jedi tribe. Will they use it well?

"Ding ding ding ding ding."

"OHHHH nOOOOOO"

"What is it Zelda? Are the Garudo twins out again?"

"Even worse, my purse is missing!"

Mr. Link is the frantic little tortilla boy who takes up the light saber. Will he fall victim to the dark Side? How will Gannon finally be defeated? Will Zelda ever find her missing Purse? Find out in the Future edition to the "Link likes Comedy" series, "Star Wars Meets a Kid With a Hat."


	13. You like this story, also See

ALSO SEE MY OTHER STORIES.

Ed Farts of frenzy

Fiction rated K-English-Humor/General

And MegaSonic

Fiction Rated T ! Action/Adventure or Horror ! More that 5000 words.


	14. Starwars Meets a Kid With a Hat!

Star Wars meets A Kid With A Hat

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away… Theme Music Here for Star Wars

STAR WARS EPISODE XIII

Luke sits on his porch after just getting a change in his gender. As Luke grows old with his light saber, he wonders if there will ever be another use for it. He wants to share it with the world, and maybe in another galaxy, far, far away. He finds that its power may last for long enough for it to land there and still work. He goes on to the millennium falcon and hitches a ride from king Han Solo.

As he thinks he is not far enough, the ship starts to run low. He must throw his saber from there. He calculated it's landing and found an unknown planet of prehistoric times. He called it Hyrube. He didn't know how close he was. She went back to Tatooine her home planet. When his light sabers land, he bought one from darth Vader. Now, on the Planet of Hyrule, a little boy picks it up…

(Star Wars Music theme fades away.) "Zelda look what I found today just lying on the ground. It's some kind of metal sword handle with no blade. I wonder what happens when I press this button that says, 'activate'. Do you wonder what it is?"

"No not really. But I read in this magazine that they might make a moving picture. They are going to call it a movie. They say that thing your holding is going to be in one of the first ones ever made. This is really shocking."

"Man their crazy. How could this ever be in a movie? This is the craziest thing I have heard from your magazine since the 'invention of game cube' and the 'television'." Link pressed the red button and a tube of green deadly rays popped out of the light saber. It went through links left pinky toe, "Owwe. Owe, Owe, Owe."

"Are you Okay honey? It looks really bad. Would you like to get a red potion from Koume?" Zelda grabbed a bag with a string attached. She was ready to go to the Gurudo Witch to buy a red potion.

"I'm Okay Zelda. Look, I kiss it (kisses his foot) all better. Do you see it? My foot is fine."

"If you say so. Now you know that what ever comes out of that will make anything it goes through die."

"I CAN KILL GANNON WITH THIS."

"If you could really kill Gannon with that, do you really think you could hit him anyway? Do you think that it will be necessary to use that? How fast would you do it if all these questions were answered yes?"

"_In a heartbeat."_

_"L_adies and Gentle men we give you Dr. Jekyll going into Mr. Hyde." Zelda left for the deku shop. "Goodbye for now." Link started swinging the saber around. He used it like a sword witch wasn't really smart.

"I will call it the light saber. Naaahhh. I'm going to call it the deku kith. Forget it, light saber sounds better." He continued to train with it. Then he started to float. "Wow. There is some kind of dirt pieces lifting me up. I will call it, the dirt. No, I'm going to call it frantic optimal reports of crazy ethnics. I'm just going to call it the FORCE for short."

Zelda walks in with a big smile not noticing Link floating above her head. "Something is different."

"Yeah it is. I'm floating. I'm using the force. And by the way there is a burrito for you in the micro wave."

"Shouldn't you be preparing to take on Gannon? You did schedule it for tomorrow night. You are never going to master that thing."

"You should see how good I am." Ding "I sense a disturbance in the force."

"Is Gannon here now. I can't wait for you to kick his but. Maybe even the Gurudo witches, they terrify me. They're so scary, I never want to see them again."

"No it's not that. It's not anything like Gannon. It's much stonger. It's even stronger than those dating tips you gave me seven years ago. Way stronger."

"What is it? I really need to know."

"THAT'S IT"

"What?"

"My bean burrito is done, would you please go get if for me?"

"Why can't you get it yourself? Isn't it your bean burrito?"

"I have not learned how to stop the force."

"Maybe if you would put your arms down."

Link put his arms down and fell face flat of the floor. He put up one finger and mumbled into the ground. You could not understand it. Unfathomable it was.

"What?"

He lifted his head and said, "Would you get my burrito out of the microwave?" I no longer have any strength in my legs." Zelda left the room for the kitchen, "Are you getting it? Zelda? ZELDA!" She came back in with a burrito in her hand."

LINK jumped up to his feet and Zelda said, "This burrito is good."

"You ate my burrito." Link activated the light saber and turned it at her.

"Please don't kill me? I'm too beautiful to die. Here is your burrito back."

"Thank you. You know I was not really going to kill you right." Link took a bite. He chewed and swallowed and then said, "You don't know what I was going to do. I seriously wasn't going to kill you."

"What were you going to do? Were you going to think about doing if you were not actually going to do it?"

"I was going to gut the belt with the saber and make your pants fall down. These get very uncomfortable. They should make something to wear under your pants to make it more relaxing."

"It's called underwear. It has already been invented. Now if you don't mind I'm going to the woods."

"For what?"

"I gotta pee."

"TMI." Zelda left and Gannon came. Link pulled out his saber and swung it around."

"I know it is tomorrow now stop reminding me."

"What's that scrap metal your holding. Does it do anything?"

"Oops, I forgot to turn it on." He turned it on and Gannon brought out his own. "What should we call this new art. It shall not be called fencing or anything like that please. After all, you base everything on the future on invention of 'ThE FeNcE'. When are you going to let it go? I was not the one who threw you on that fence. Trying to humiliate the fence is just like you."

"Let's call it the way of the Jedo" Gannon smiled.

"How about Jedi. It sounds a lot better. And that thing that allows you to float, it's called the FORCE. I like the sound of it, and I love the light saber."

"YOU KNOW THE NAME. I like it. I think you may be a good opponent Link. But I just needed something from your house. May I get it?"

"Oh go ahead." Gannon reached inside after they both turned off their light sabers. When Gannon took his hand out and left, Zelda arrived. She went inside and said nothing to Link. Link stood still waiting for something to happen.

"AAAAAHHHH. LINK GET OVER HERE it's really baaahaahaad."

"Are the Gurudo witches here again?"

"No Link. It's even worse. My purse was stolen. Gannon took it, his foot mark it outside, and I know it was him."

"All the more reason for me to kill him."

"Long story short, Kill him." Long story short, he killed him!


	15. Link Meats Nautodoc

Link Meats Naruto.

One day, at the Hero's ball, Link Saw Naruto. "Hi Naruto"

"Hi Link." And then they walked away. They never saw eachother again. Such a sad ending.


	16. Link VS Zelda

Link VS Zelda

"Guys would you stop fighting. You two love each other." Kafei was trying to get Link and Zelda to stop fighting.

"Your going down Zelda."

"Remind me again why we are fighting."

"Who cares, it's out fist fight, let's finish it." Link tried to hit Zelda with the sword; Zelda kept blocking him with her magic. Link used Din's fire, but Zelda simply moved far enough to dodge it. Then Link used Nyru's love, and Zelda laughed.

Gannon then walked in and asked Kafei, "What's going on Kafei."

"Mr. And Mrs. Royal are having a spat."

"Do they all fight like this?" Gannon asked raising an eyebrow.

"Apparently…No."

"I'm never getting married."

"I'm getting a divorce." Kafei Complained.

"You were married."

"You've never played The Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask?"

"Nope."

"Awe well pull up a seat to the Best show on earth. Popcorn?" Kafei smiled.

"Sure."

"Then Zelda Asked, "Hey, is this how couples are supposed to fight? This doesn't seam right."

Gannon Wined, "Awe It was just getting good, then Zelda has to say, 'let's talk it out'."

"Don't worry, they will fight again." Kafei said to Gannon."

"OH HECK YEAH."


	17. New Technology

New Technology.

"Link, honey come over here quick, I need to show you our new appliance."

"What is it now. If it's not magical, I don't want to see it."

"Oh it is."

"What is it Zelda."

"It's a camera, you press this Magical button on the top of it, and the eye of the camera remembers the image of what it sees while you took the picture. You can print it out on the computer too."

Link stood silent while looking at Zelda who just kept smiling. She then hit a button on the keyboard and printed a picture of link. "So it's a thing that makes pictures."

"Yes exactly."

"That's what I have rupees and a royal painter for…" He stood silent for a few seconds and then walked away saying, "…Good Bye."

"All I wanted was some love."


	18. Stranded

Stranded.

"Bye for now Zelda, I'm going for a walk."

"That's nice" (Whispers "Take your time") Link went around to the cliffs and climbed up the vines went up a few natural rams and through a fence maze and into the lost woods. If you guess he is in the Kokiri forest, you were just right until he entered the lost woods. While he was there, he saw a skull kid and played a few songs with him. "Okay I have to go. Where am I?"

"In the lost woods."

"Thanks. He found a hole with a light coming out, but he failed to see the stone around it. It was the entrance to the gorron village. He went in, and bomb flowers exploded. He could not get out, he was trapped. He got out and went to the top. "Hi guys, I'm here."

NOW, THERE ARE THREE OF THEM LINK, A GORRON AND A ZORA. THEY WILL BE PUT INSIDE A CIRCUAR ROOM. THE ONE WHO STAYS IN THE LONGEST WINS. FIRST PRIZE IS LINK'S HAT.

"Hey, why is my hat a prize?"

SHUT UP. WHO CARES. THE HAT IS BORING NOW. IT'S AN ANTIQUE, WORTH MILLION. The funny part about this, fifty days later, they announce, IT STARTED AS JUST THREE, AND NOW THERE ARE ONLY TWO. WELCOME TO DAY FIFTY-ONE. WHO WILL STAY IN THE LONGEST?"

"Fifty-one?" Link asked, "I'm never going to explain this to Zelda. You win Gorron."

LINK, YOUR HAT PLZ?"

"Yeah right." He ran for his life. They lost track of him. They all stood together. Then you hear Link's voice again, "They started out chasing a boy, now they must survive the lost woods. Who will be the last one to stay put?" Link was at home using a microphone to speak all the way to the others. "First prize eats the others."

Zelda said, "Oh yeah, we got them good Huh Link?"

"I changed my mind about technology. I like it. Especially because I can make this happen."


	19. Navi Went Blind?

The day Navi went temporarily blind.

One day, Link came home from Deku Spices. He felt like spraying Navi in the eyes with a pack of hot sauce. He did, and he laughed. Then Tatl came and asked Link Why he was laughing. "I just Blinded Navi With Hot Sauce." They both Laughed. It's funny right. HAHHAHAHAHAHA. That's NOT all folks.

**Link here. I really did this. I'm not just making this up.** _I still feel glad to write all this down for Link. This is -MegaSonics- Chronicle saying, there will be more.._


	20. The hot day

The hot, hot, day.

One day, Link was going for a walk across Hyrule Field. "Man this stinks, I wish Zelda lived in Termina. Navi what are the stats."

"At this rate, we should be there in five minutes."

"Ah shut up, when have you ever been right?"

"Just now?" Link stood silent while walking. He started to sweat. He swung his sword at every enemy. "Where did you get that sword? That does not look like the master sword."

"I stole it from Kafei."

"That's not nice!" Link grabbed a bottle of water and dumped it. "Why didn't you drink that water, you're starting to sweat."

"The game doesn't allow me to drink the water, that's why I'm stopping by the Romani Ranch to get some milk."

"What are you talking about? What Game? This is not a game, this is real life."

Link looks toward the audience, (supposedly you who's reading this right now) and says; "I don't have the heart to tell him" They go into Romani Ranch and get apprehended by that guy you win the hoarse off of.

"Kaaahhhh. Kaaahhh. You stole the hoarse and ran off with it, I will kill you." Link shot an arrow through him.

"I hate Game programming, I wish I could kill him. Now I think I have a cheat code, where's my action replay."

"What's an action replay?" Asked Navi.

"It gives me cheat codes for the game."

"What game, this is no game, just shoot him with an arrow."

Link, looking at the audience, says; "I still don't have the heart to tell him."

"And what Kind of SuperHero wears a skirt."

"Yes the action replay is working, now I can kill anybody I want." Link shoots an arrow at Navi, "You were the first on my list, and I liked Tatl better." Then he shot an arrow at the Romani Ranch guy. "Now I can steal some milk. And with the Action replay, I can have more fun on the vacation I'm taking with Zelda. Audience, Incase you're wondering, we are still married.


	21. Sacred Realm secrets

The Sacred realm's secret side.

"Ruto" Darmani said. "Ruto, would you pass a root beer?"

"Sure." Then Raru entered in a Speedo, scary, and sat down and made their surroundings look like the beach. "Did you want a Root Beer Or Doctor Pepper?"

"Root Beer."

Then Raru said, "I'll have one of those too, please."

"No problem." Then Saria in a bikini started burying herself in the sand. She made her legs look like Ruto's. Then Ruto completely buried Saria in the sand making Saria Look Like Ruto under the sand. Impa, also in a Bikini, laughed so hard. Link walked in and suddenly, everything looked like it did as if you just saved another sage.

Raru said, "Link, so you have saved the spirit sage."

"Yes and why are you in a Speedo?"

"You caught us. We were hanging at the beach. Want to come with us next time?"

"Sure, and let's make next time right now." And so the did. It looked like the beach again, and Link ran for the water. He took a headfirst dive and then it went back to normal. Link took a long fall and yelled.

Just then, while they were laughing themselves to death, the Spirit sage arrived. Nabooru said, "You guys are so mean." Everyone stopped laughing and looked at her.

Raru said, "So what if we are mean."

"You couldn't save some chips for me and that's as low as it gets Raru. I quit being a sage, you can save the world yourselves."

Ruto asked, "Does that mean we need link again?" Then they all stood silent for exactly three-and-a-half seconds, and all at the same time, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAA. LINK, COME BACK WE NEED YOU." Then Ruto said, "We killed link. We really killed link… Did Navi go with him?"

Raru answered, "NO"

Ruto Screamed, "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"


	22. The Hyrule Awards

THE Hyrule Templates.

Navi speaks, "Hello, and welcome to the first annual Hyrule awards. We will be giving awards in the following classes; Best Hat, Best Dressed, most heroic, most guidance provided, most guidance people talked to, and more. First, We will start off with Best Hat. The envelope please. And the Best Hat Hyrule award goes to, Link of the Kokiri Forest."

"Thank you. I would like to thank my mom for leaving me where I live, and Zelda for nominating me."

"Yeah, Yeah you were the only nominee. We will continue with Best Dressed. We have three Nominees for this. We have Tatl, Nominated by 'sis', Link by Zelda, and Kafei of Termina by Anju. The envelope please. The winner is Kafei of Termina."

"Thank you Navi. Thank you Anju for nominating me. I love you Anju, how are you watching at home."

"Wait, how can anybody watch at home?

"A Large Network of Mirrors."

"Anyway, moving on. Let's continue with the Most Guidance provided award. There are three nominees. We have The Deku Tree, nominated by Link, The Holdrum Maku tree, nominated by Link, and we have the Labrynna Maku Tree Nominated by Link, WAIT HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

"I nominated them all. GO DEKU TREE."

"The Award has been sent, and Moving on. Moving on with the Most Guidance needed. The only nominee is Link, who was nominated by the Deku Tree, and Both Maku Trees."

Zelda Spoke up, "I now nominate Link again."

"It's official, Link is the winner."

"I would like to thank everybody who voted for me."

"Nobody voted Link. The Deku Tree decides all."

"Oh. I would like to thank all the nominators for nominating me. I would also like to thank,"

"Shuut uup."

"Moving on to most heroic. I would like to say Hannah Montanna, and amazingly, there are two nominees. The first is Link, Nominated by Zelda. The other Nominee is the future Gatling gun. The envelope please. And the Deku tree Decided…Link. I hate him. Only because he hates me."

"Thank you again."

"Don't even say it. Now the last award is most preferred to destroy Navi…And the…Nominees are…Everybody…Nominated by …The Deku Tree." He looked into the audience and everybody was holding a club. "Uh Oh. Why does everybody hate me?"


	23. Pervert Link

**Hello. This is the time when I met Zelda, but we were not married yet. It was one of our first dates, and I was kinda going through puberty. Okay, her father asked me to take her on a disturbing outing, so sorry if it's too graphic. Link out.**

"Hey Zelda" I said just trying to get her attention. "I bought some food for a picnic!"

"Oh That's so sweet," She responded with. "Let me go change into a proper outfit." So I waited, and waited, and waited. She finally came in with a HOT red dress. "Is it too HOT?"

You know what I was thinking. Okay, maybe you don't. I was thinking, _omg if she has anything hotter, she would burn me up from a distance_. But what I really said was, actually I did not say anything because I was so nervous.

"Come on let's go." So we went to the Lon Lon Ranch, which I rented out for this occasion. I opened up my bag after laying down the quilt, which had 101 or 010 written in large print. "That's, a, nice, quilt… I guess."

"Glad you like it. Now, for me I got a hot dog on a stick, and for you I bought some quesadillas with holes in the middle."

"Oh" she said. OH yeah, she digged me. We sat down and ate, when suddenly she asked, "What do you want to do when you grow up?"

"I was thinking pro archer, who does demonstrations by shooting through narrow football shaped hoops that were fit to the arrow."

"Okay," so what she said but didn't think. I don't know what she was thinking, but I know she digged me. So I asked her the same question. She said, "I want to be the world's first virgin queen."

"Is that possible? By the way, is there anything in particular that made you say yes to our date? This is cool and all, but if your father or anybody told you to say-"

"Nobody told me to say anything. And I do like you. You're cool, you eat well-"

"Yeah I've got the stick."

"EEEEWWWEEE" she said while getting to her feet and shaking her hands back and forth.

"What, what," I asked.

"There a spider on your shirt."

"I have to admit something."

"Yes,"

"I-" I tried to get it out, and she stared at me like a cow stares at the sunrise in the distance." "I-. I, I, I, I, That's my pet spider chuck."

"You have a pet spider?"

"No, But your dad told me to do all this."

"He told you to be nice to me and take me on a date."

"He didn't say date per say, but he did want me to take you on a disturbing outing. It was so you would stop thinking about boys. More particularly me."

"Come here." Hallelujah, my first kiss. Bye Bye, I'm out.

_And that's the story of his first kiss. Wanna here the story of mine? _**You mean the one that doesn't exist yet? **_Oh Great rub it in my face why don't you?_** Because I hate to see a baby cry!**_ You folks at home do not want to hear what's coming next._


	24. LoZ 4 Whores Adventures

**Link Here, telling you about a misadventure. It sounds a lot like the Four Swords doesn't it, or at least the title does.**

Legend of Zelda: The four Whores Adventures.

One day, Link was sleeping, and was awaken by the doorbell. Link was pissed to have to walk all the way across the castle in his Pajamas to answer. When he did answer, there were 4 men with instruments standing outside. "Hello" one of them said, "We're the Four Whores." Link slammed the door. The doorbell rang again immediately, and link answered just as quick. The Men saw Link in his regular clothes. "NO, NO, We're a rock group."

Link yelled, "Then Go To the Gorons, they love rocks."

He slammed the door, and the door bell rang, and he answered. "We know, we performed for them last month. We play music. I have my Ocarina, this guy plays the guitar, this guy plays drums, and this guy sings. We've come for a private performance." Zelda then arrived at the door.

"Hey, you must be the Four Whores. Great to see you. Sorry about my husband Link, he doesn't like future technology."

Link yelled, "I'm going for a walk, don't come." Zelda watched the rock band play all there hits, "Gorons we love you," "We're the Whores and you're a Zora," and "Do the Deku's, they are hot." After that, a letter arrived for Zelda. It was from Link. It said:

_Dear Zelda, it is me Link. I've been captured by Ganon, not because he's stronger, but I didn't feel like fighting. Please come and get me. Please do not bring the for hores, unless they bring cookies._

Zelda said, "I have to go get my husband."

"No No, you promised to go on tour with us." Zelda agreed. They went to one appearance per temple, and the power of music brought the boss back to life. Zelda always got scared, so the Four Whores would have to use their instruments as weapons to beat the Boss. (Sounds familiar doesn't it.) After the Tour, they went to Ganon's castle.

Ganon yelled, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH, TAKE HIM, HE'S TOO TALKATIVE. IT'S NO WONDER I KIDNAPPED ZELDA THE FIRST TIME." They were all transported back to the castle.

Link said, "I thought I told you NOT to bring the Four Whores unless they brought cookies."

"Sorry, we ate all the cookies."

There was a very awkward silence as Link examined them all with crumbs on their lips. "How about cupcakes?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay," and Link and Zelda and the Four Whores ate cupcakes together.


	25. LoZ Phantom Of The Opera

**Link here. You want MORE misadventures? Oh my god. Or, Oh my Nyru, or Oh my Din, or Oh my Farhor. Sorry if I spell anything wrong. Well, another Zelda title parody.**

LoZ: Phantom of the Opera (Phantom Hourglass)

"Link, when is the last time you took me out? We never do anything anymore."

"Repeat the question Zelda!"

"When was the last time you took me out?"

"For score and seven years ago." Zelda kept nagging. Link was posing for another portrait of himself which should be sold at an auction. "Fine, fine. How about, tomorrow, we go see a show. I think they're showing something at the Deku Palace."

"Oh that would be lovely. They're putting on a play: The Legend of Link, the Phantom Hourglass."

"Not another one. Why can't they just stop. Eventually, I have to do all these. You know. It's not just fun in games." Link was breaking out into tears. "Waaah, I don't want to save Zelda again?"

"What?"

"Not that I don't love you, but you need to learn how to defend your self." Zelda got mad and beat up Link which looked a lot like SSBM, just make it up yourself how she beats him up. "Owe."

"I can defend myself, it's just that, I choose not to. I like to see you as a big strong hero coming to my rescue."

"Then take a picture."

"I tried, you and Ganondorf started fighting before I could finish drawing it. DAM YOU."

"OH, so you're saying this is my fault?"

"No."

And on and on and on. Later, Link took Zelda to the Deku Palace to see Legend of Link, the Phantom Hourglass. A deku at the front said, "Welcome to another Legend of Link opera."

"Awe man, bad enough I still have to date my wife once in a while, why can't you just be happy with what goes on Thursday nights?" (That sentence not for children under age 13.) "But Now I have to watch an opera?" A large bang went on inside from the playroom, and the crowd started getting scared. It was starting to talk amongst itself. Fifteen tiny baby Deku scrubs came out crying for their mommies. Another Deku came up to the one in the front and whispered in his ear.

"I'm sorry, but there seems to be a problem. There is some sort of Phantom menace trying to destroy out play with just a whole bunch of hourglasses. Kind of ironic don't you think."

"Oh well," Link said, "Time to go home!" Zelda gave him a cold stare. "What?"

"You better do what you do best for them." Link gave a regretful stare. "Do it, or we won't do Thursday night's anymore."

"But I don't even have my gear."

"Oh don't worry, I have your sword right here."

"Why do you carry my sword around?"

"I really like _your sword_."

"You are nasty." Link took his sword. Then he Went and found the playroom covered in broken hourglasses. Someone stopped him.

"Ticket?" Link showed him the ticket he had. And then he found a shadow going by. He knew it was coming from behind the set. He went behind the set and found the Deku King behind there stashing Hourglasses into a bag.

"What are you doing here?"

"I clean it up because no other deku's have long enough hands. It gets very difficult to clean for them. And beside, I don't want them cutting their feet on these. I'm very sorry for their flowers." Link said okay, and told him to carry on. Then he saw another shadow in the lights directors office. He went outside, had to go through that deku beans and deku mask part of MM, until he finally found the room.

"Stop right there!" He saw Gannondorf interrogating the lights director. "Gannondorf, what are you doing here?"

"I hate these shows. I've been trying to convince them to let me win for once, but you always win."

"If I let you have a free punch, will you stop destroying the play?"

"Yes."

"Okay a free punch."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAA." Gannondorf did his Wizard punch from Super Smash Bros. Melee, and then Link went flying back to Hyrule.

"Dammit, now I have to walk all the way there. I don't have my Ocarina, and I my hoarse is in Termina. Well this sucks." He walked all the way there, and by the time he got there, the play was over.

"Honey, You are way too late. You should've been hear three hours ago? Why are you so late?"

"No Ocarina, No hoarse?"

"Why don't we go home and pretend it's Thursday?"

"Yeah, Thursday… Pizza Night!"


End file.
